Job: trust and comfort in hard times

Job 13:1-12

“Look, my eye has seen all this, my ear has heard and understood it. ²What you know, I also know; I am not inferior to you. ³But I would speak to the Almighty, and I desire to argue my case with God. ⁴As for you, you whitewash with lies; all of you are worthless physicians. ⁵If you would only keep silent, that would be your wisdom! ⁶Hear now my reasoning, and listen to the pleadings of my lips.

⁷Will you speak falsely for God, and speak deceitfully for him? ⁸Will you show partiality toward him, will you plead the case for God? ⁹Will it be well with you when he searches you out? Or can you deceive him, as one person deceives another? ¹⁰He will surely rebuke you if in secret you show partiality. ¹¹Will not his majesty terrify you, and the dread of him fall upon you? ¹²Your maxims are proverbs of ashes, your defenses are defenses of clay.

Job 15:1-6

Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered: ²“Should the wise answer with windy knowledge, and fill themselves with the east wind? ³Should they argue in unprofitable talk, or in words with which they can do no good? ⁴But you are doing away with the fear of God, and hindering meditation before God. ⁵For your iniquity teaches your mouth, and you choose the tongue of the crafty. ⁶Your own mouth condemns you, and not I; your own lips testify against you.

Job 16:1-5

Then Job answered: ²“I have heard many such things; miserable comforters are you all. ³Have windy words no limit? Or what provokes you that you keep on talking? ⁴I also could talk as you do, if you were in my place; I could join words together against you, and shake my head at you. ⁵I could encourage you with my mouth, and the solace of my lips would assuage your pain.

Job 19:1-6, 19-27

Then Job answered: ²“How long will you torment me, and break me in pieces with words? ³These ten times you have cast reproach upon me; are you not ashamed to wrong me? ⁴And even if it is true that I have erred, my error remains with me. ⁵If indeed you magnify yourselves against me, and make my humiliation an argument against me, ⁶know then that God has put me in the wrong, and closed his net around me.

¹⁹All my intimate friends abhor me, and those whom I loved have turned against me. ²⁰My bones cling to my skin and to my flesh, and I have escaped by the skin of my teeth. ²¹Have pity on me, have pity on me, O you my friends, for the hand of God has touched me! ²²Why do you, like God, pursue me, never satisfied with my flesh?

²³“O that my words were written down! O that they were inscribed in a book! ²⁴O that with an iron pen and with lead they were engraved on a rock forever! ²⁵For I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the last he will stand upon the earth; ²⁶and after my skin has been thus destroyed, then in my flesh I shall see God, ²⁷whom I shall see on my side, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!

Job 40:6-14

⁶Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind: ⁷“Gird up your loins like a man; I will question you, and you declare to me. ⁸Will you even put me in the wrong? Will you condemn me that you may be justified? ⁹Have you an arm like God, and can you thunder with a voice like his?

¹⁰“Deck yourself with majesty and dignity; clothe yourself with glory and splendor. ¹¹Pour out the overflowings of your anger, and look on all who are proud, and abase them. ¹²Look on all who are proud, and bring them low; tread down the wicked where they stand. ¹³Hide them all in the dust together; bind their faces in the world below. ¹⁴Then I will also acknowledge to you that your own right hand can give you victory.

Job 42:1-8

Then Job answered the Lord: ²“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. ³‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ⁴‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you declare to me.’ ⁵I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; ⁶therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”

⁷After the Lord had spoken these words to Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite: “My wrath is kindled against you and against your two friends; for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has. ⁸Now therefore take seven bulls and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you, for I will accept his prayer not to deal with you according to your folly; for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has done.”

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            We talked last week about how hard it is to hold together the truth of faith with the challenges of the world. Today we dig a little further into that in two different directions. In the passages I just read, Job argues that his friends are tormenting him, pursuing him like God to make him suffer. He puts the blame for his suffering squarely on God’s shoulders.

            At the same time, even while facing all the horror of his suffering and the sense of being pursued instead of cared for by God, Job also longs for God to be his redeemer. He trusts that despite everything going on, despite all the suffering he has to deal with, one day he will still see God face to face. Even though God has tormented him, Job trusts that God will build him up in the end.

            That’s an amazing act of faith. Even though Job didn’t know anything about the cross, his faith fits right in with our faith that centers on Jesus and the cross. On the cross we see Jesus, innocent and suffering for us by God’s command. Jesus says in the same scene, “God, why have you forsaken me,” and, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” The true faith of Jesus, the faith of Job, and the faith of the church at its best is a faith that can absorb great suffering honestly and still cling to the hope of God’s love triumphing in the end.

            That’s not a rosy, cheerful faith that denies trouble or suffering. It’s not a cynical faith that just gives up on the world and on grace as the ultimate truth. Instead, it’s a strong, honest, durable faith that sees all the pain and trouble of life, and still holds on to love.

            Job has been wishing for an opportunity to confront and question God for much of the book, and in the last few chapters he finally gets his wish. God appears and questions Job. God points out the unimaginable scope of his power and knowledge. On one hand, this discussion doesn’t really answer Job’s question about why God is making him suffer. That’s frustrating from a perspective of justice and fairness. We want God to explain why Job has suffered so much, but God doesn’t deliver.

            On the other hand, the discussion does give us one important answer, which is that there are some things, many things even, that are simply beyond our understanding. The human hunger for understanding is an important part of our make up; we need to seek the truth in many areas of our lives, including in our spiritual life. At the same time, we are not going to understand everything.

            More importantly than that, God vindicates Job against his friends’ accusations. Instead of condemning Job for asking questions, he condemns Job’s friends for blindly defending God’s justice. God does want us to ask our questions. And God values our honest engagement more than saying what we think God wants to hear. We’re called to love God with all our heart and mind and strength; that means we can bring all our questions and fears and emotions to the altar.

            Our lesson from Job’s part in this passage is that he’s right to bring his full honesty, his unfiltered feelings to God. He also shows us how to trust even when he’s angry and sad and confused. Those are all lessons we need to hear, because there are plenty of times we are sad and angry, confused and afraid. We can bring all those feelings to God without worrying that he will reject us for that. We can learn to trust even when we don’t understand.

            The other important lesson in these passages is how to be a friend when someone is going through hard times. We get this lesson especially from Job’s argument with his friends. Job’s friends argue that Job’s extreme anger and his harsh words threaten faith in God. Job, on the other hand accuses them of being dishonest in their defense of God. Instead of listening to Job’s version of the truth, they are saying whatever they think will make God look good.

            When I’m honest, I know I sometimes do the same thing Job’s friends. I try to make God look good. God doesn’t need us to defend him. We don’t need to talk people out of being angry with God. When people are suffering we just need to be with them, to be compassionate and show that we care. That will do more to help people see God’s love and justice than any amount of intellectual defense of God we could ever do anyway. More importantly, it will help our friends get through hard times and know they are not alone.

            Job says if he were in the place of his friends and they were suffering it would be easy to condemn them, but instead he’d use his words to build them up and comfort them. That’s our calling when people we know are suffering. We can’t always help in a practical way: we can’t take away the pain when someone’s child or parent dies; we can’t hire them when they lose a job or cure them when they face a terrible illness. But we can comfort them. We can sit with them and hold their hand. We can listen to them cry or scream or complain. We can pray with them, if they want, or we can just be quiet and remind them that they are not alone.

            Suffering isn’t so much an intellectual question to be figured out; it’s an emotional situation to be lived through and cared for. When someone asks, “Why does God let me suffer like this,” in some ways they are really asking, “Am I alone when I suffer?” We often don’t know the answer to the “Why” question, but we can show them that they are not alone. As Job points out, the isolation that goes along with suffering is as bad as the suffering itself.

            That’s why our care ministries in the church are so important. Illness and aging can both be very isolating. As people get into their late 80s and 90s, they lose friends to death and often lose some of their independence in terms of driving and being able to do the activities that have meant a lot to them. As people stop being able to do things, they also see fewer people and feel more alone. It takes more energy for them to get to church, and so they manage to get here less often. That means they miss major opportunities to see people and their relationships weaken. That, in turn, makes them less likely to make the effort to get to church and a vicious cycle begins.

            Extended communion, home visits, cards and phone calls to our members who have a hard time getting to church helps keep them connected. It reminds them that they are not alone, that their community hasn’t forgotten them. That’s a critical part of being the church in the world and being a friend for someone who is suffering.

            The same is true for our Saturday morning café and other ministries of fellowship. Our society today is very isolating in general. Many of us drive to do most of our errands, park in a drive way or garage and go right from our car to our house. That means we don’t often interact with our neighbors, so those relationships are pretty weak. For those who live in less safe neighborhoods than this one, there are even more reasons to stay in the house, but the less people know their neighbors the more crime.

            Imagine your life without family, without work and without a church. First, you might say, “Wow, that sounds relaxing; think how much free time I’d have.” But imagine the isolation of giving up those relationships. Now imagine the extra financial pressure to stay home created by unemployment. Many of our neighbors feel these pressures, and they feel alone as they face that uncertain future.

Our Saturday Café steps into the picture by offering people a safe, warm place to hang out. We offer friendly faces and good food. For some folks the meal makes a big difference, but more importantly, it provides real community for many people who spend much of their week alone. Community is so important, especially when we suffer, and of course, we all suffer.

            We see a vision of the church emerging as we look at what Job and his friends do right and wrong. The church is called to be a community where people are supported to explore faith. Even when we don’t agree with how someone sees God, we’re called to give them space to express and explore their faith. As we explore openly, even expressing anger, confusion and pain, we see glimpses of God’s truth and we grow in faith.

            We’re also called to be friends to those who suffer. We do that at Laurelton through ministries of care, through outreach and fellowship activities and through direct service ministries like mission trips, tutoring, Habitat, serving at Cameron and sharing Christmas baskets with neighbors in need. A lot of our best care happens informally as we simply get to know each other better by spending time together. As we deepen our relationships we’ll move from sharing polite conversation to sharing deep concerns with one another.

           

            The more we truly engage with our neighbors and with our brothers and sisters in Christ, the more we will deepen our own faith. That will enable us, like Job, to trust God even when everything is going wrong. From that place of deep faith we can bear witness to our hope in God even as we listen to people in deep pain without trying to defend God or talk them out of their sorrow. With Job, we will be able to say, “I know that my redeemer lives.” And we will be able to share that redemption with a community in need of love.

Thanks be to God.

managing conflict, even when it can't be managed

Romans 14:1-13

Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions. ²Some believe in eating anything, while the weak eat only vegetables. ³Those who eat must not despise those who abstain, and those who abstain must not pass judgment on those who eat; for God has welcomed them. ⁴Who are you to pass judgment on servants of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall. And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

⁵Some judge one day to be better than another, while others judge all days to be alike. Let all be fully convinced in their own minds. ⁶Those who observe the day, observe it in honor of the Lord. Also those who eat, eat in honor of the Lord, since they give thanks to God; while those who abstain, abstain in honor of the Lord and give thanks to God.

⁷We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. ⁸If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. ⁹For to this end Christ died and lived again, so that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living.

¹⁰Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. ¹¹For it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.” ¹²So then, each of us will be accountable to God. ¹³Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another.

Acts 15:35-41

³⁵But Paul and Barnabas remained in Antioch, and there, with many others, they taught and proclaimed the word of the Lord. ³⁶After some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Come, let us return and visit the believers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.” ³⁷Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. ³⁸But Paul decided not to take with them one who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not accompanied them in the work. ³⁹The disagreement became so sharp that they parted company; Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus. ⁴⁰But Paul chose Silas and set out, the believers commending him to the grace of the Lord. ⁴¹He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

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            This is a sad story from Acts. Paul and Barnabas had been working and travelling together for years. Barnabas was one of the first leaders in the church to trust Paul after his conversion, and he paved the way for him to be accepted by the others. They’ve been to Jerusalem to make the case for gentile freedom in Christ. They’ve evangelized in Antioch and throughout the Mediterranean world. They have been through a lot together.

            But now they’re arguing about whom to take with them on their journey, and that argument sends them off in different directions. Just hearing the passage, you know almost as much as I do about the conflict, because the Bible doesn’t say much more. All we really know is that these two friends argued, and that argument led them to go their separate ways. We don’t hear much more about Barnabas, but in later letters Paul mentions both Barnabas and John Mark favorably, so this conflict doesn’t destroy their love for each other.

             This passage is important because conflict happens. It happens in the church, even with mature, faithful leaders. Conflict is part of life and part of any important thing we do, especially when change is involved. It is OK to disagree about things. It’s OK to have different opinions in the church; that actually makes us stronger, as long as we can disagree with love and honesty.

Conflict is challenging because we believe what we believe because we think it’s true. That usually means if someone believes something different, our first instinct is to think they are wrong. If the issue we disagree about is important, it’s easy to worry that going the wrong way will seriously damage the church. As the conflict continues, it’s easy to think of the person we disagree with mostly in terms of our conflict, so that they become an opponent instead of a person. When we think about a conflict that way a basic conflict about an issue becomes a personal conflict that can easily get out of control with very destructive consequences for the community.

            On the other hand, if we approach conflict with humility, love and respect, we can learn from each other. A big part of working through conflict is remembering that the person we are having a conflict with is a person like we are. We are each more than whatever the idea is that we disagree about. Regardless of what we disagree about, we agree on a lot and we share our common humanity. We each have feelings and hopes and fears.

A big part of working through a conflict is being able to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. We can discuss an issue productively if we can understand why the other person thinks what they think. Most of the time when we approach it with that mindset, we can work the conflict out. Often we won’t change our minds, but we can understand each other and put the conflict in the context of our wider sharing, so the community can move on.

Another important part of resolving conflict is trusting God and remembering that our salvation and faithfulness do not depend on what we think or decide about any question or controversy. We are saved by God’s grace, and our identity is given to us as children of God. No conflict in the church can take that away from us, so we don’t need to be afraid of losing our faith because we disagree.

My hope for this church is that we can be a community that welcomes diverse beliefs and opinions. I want everyone to be comfortable sharing their opinions knowing that others might not agree, but will still accept, respect and love them regardless.

I want to be open about what I believe and I want you to be open as well. It’s OK if we believe different things. I will respect your beliefs and listen when you express them. I need to trust that you will tell me if anything I’m doing makes you feel uncomfortable or like your beliefs are being threatened. The only conflicts we can’t address are the ones we hide, and we all have a role to play in making this a safe place for faith to grow.

            That’s all pretty theoretical, so let’s bring that back to earth by talking through an example. We’ll start with a really simple conflict as a warm up. Let’s imagine we want to change the carpet in the sanctuary. One person suggests replacing the carpet with a new red carpet like the one we have; another person argues that it would be better to take the carpet out entirely and leave the wood floor instead.

            What are some reasons new carpet might be a great idea?

            OK, what are some reasons to go with wood instead?

            What other perspectives might people have on this question?

            What other factors might play a role in this discussion beneath the surface?

Do you see any ways this conflict could become destructive to the community?

            How would you manage that as a member of the community who wants to keep the congregation healthy?

            What would be some signs the congregation had resolved the conflict successfully?

What would be some signs the conflict hadn’t really been resolved 5 years later?

            Any other thoughts?

            OK, let’s take a look at a harder conflict in the church: the debate over homosexuality. Let me start by saying this is a sermon about conflict with sexuality as an example. It’s not a sermon about homosexuality; maybe we’ll do that another week.

This is a conversation that has been challenging for congregations and the denomination as a whole. It’s especially challenging because opinions often divide along some of the same lines as many other conflicts in our nation’s “culture wars.” Many of our disagreements in the church and in society are seen as liberal versus conservative, which makes it easier to see each other as enemies and harder to see each other as brothers and sisters.

            In the wider society most of the debate focuses on marriage equality. In the church there have been two main issues for debate. The first is whether the church will ordain lesbians, gay men and transgendered people as elders, deacons and pastors. The other main area of conflict is around whether the denomination will allow same sex marriage. Right now we do ordain LGBT people and we do not permit same sex marriage.

            We’re not going to resolve this conflict today, but we are going to talk through it as an example of significant conflict. So, in a spirit of love, what are some reasons why the church should ordain LGBT folks?

            What are some reasons the church should not?

            What are some reasons the church should allow same sex marriage?

            What are some reasons the church should not allow same sex marriage?

            What might make these questions especially threatening for people who oppose same sex marriage?

            What makes these questions threatening for people who support same sex marriage?

            How would you feel about this debate if you were gay?

            What might keep you from putting yourself in the other “side’s” shoes?

            What else is involved in this conflict?

            What could make this conflict destructive for a church or denomination?

            How could this conflict help the church grow and model Christ’s love to the world?

            Great work. As you see, if we talk through something like that it helps us put ourself in the other person’s shoes and understand why they believe something different from what we believe. I’m not going to ask you what you think is the right decision for the church or how we should approach it. We can talk about that another time. Our focus today is how the church handles conflict, both how we usually do handle conflict and how we should handle conflict.

            In our denomination right now many Presbyterian churches feel like the denomination is drifting to the left theologically and politically. Some conservative churches and pastors feel like their conscience is calling them to leave the denomination for one of our more conservative cousins, usually the Evangelical Presbyterian Church. One of the churches in our presbytery left the denomination two months ago.

            The story in the Bible these leaders usually point to is the story of Paul and Barnabas. I was talking about this with another pastor at the interim ministry training seminar I went to in March. He described himself as a “Paul and Barnabas guy.” He meant that he thinks the time has come for many people like him to go their own way. That means leaving the fight behind and moving on with ministry in the way he thinks is best while leaving the PCUSA to do ministry how we think is best.

            I agree. I think at the level of the congregation we can have productive discussions about sexuality and we can figure out how to work together even when we disagree. But at the level of the denomination we have been fighting about this so long that it’s hard to imagine real progress.

            The fight about sexuality isn’t getting us anywhere. When we can’t work together, we should go our own way with love and prayer for each other. There are times when trying to hold different view points together will not work, when we can’t go the same place.

That’s OK. Paul and Barnabas went their own ways and both continued to be effective evangelists for Jesus. I think if churches that feel like they need to leave the denomination leave, they will do more effective ministry than if they stay. They will be able to tell people clearly that their denomination doesn’t support homosexuality, rather than making apology for the denomination’s more liberal stance. And the PCUSA will do more effective ministry if we let people go when they want to. We will be freed from the distraction of a conflict that has consumed a ton of energy while the church has withered. And we’ll be able to truly welcome all people without having to say, “We welcome you, but we won’t marry you.” We will each do better outreach to new people, and the church will grow.

I firmly believe that’s the right thing for the church to do. It’s also sad. I have friends who will not stay in the denomination, and that means I won’t see them as often. This presbytery and the church as a whole will lose many churches, which means we will have to consolidate and change how we function to work better as a smaller denomination. But God will be with both groups, and we will all do better if we follow our calling.

I have no idea who was right in the conflict between Paul and Barnabas; at this point it doesn’t matter. At that moment they could not move forward together, so they moved forward faithfully in separate directions. Most of the time we can work our conflicts out with love and honesty, but sometimes we need to go different ways. Wherever we go, whatever we decide, God is with us as we follow. Our job is to be faithful and loving in conflict and agreement. If we do that, God will work through us no matter what.

Thanks be to God.